frustrated moment

argh!! been keeping real out of touch with my computer dy. what a bad news. while im transferring some files from my laptop to my computer, my computer suddenly shut down and my laptop shut down followed by then. gosh! what's next? i can't on 'em anymore. so frustrated! and now both laptop and computer sent to 'hospital' for some 'treatments'. urgh! what a good day i can use my bro's laptop to update abit.
been real frustrated and mad with my cheer team. never get to know who are they. they are like a devil to me. goodness. i found out that actually those chinese-mixed-malay friends much more better the chinese friends. at least they know what is obey; what is commitment; and what is respect. they are much understandable. chinese always impulsive. they never think properly before they do sumthing. im serious. i mean some amount of people, not at all. sorry if it is offensive but that's the truth.
my head getting so much bigger nowadayz. im standing in between the malays and chinese; teacher and them. argh!what a broken cheer team. i never imagine what will happen after sports day. sports day tomorrow and everyone still in a mess and blur. can u imagine that? been quit sick recently.
anyway, forget bout all the stupidities. thanks for the opportunities. i get to know a bro better. robin! hahha. why? hmmm.. a secret. lolx. anyway, he's a good guy, good bro, good friend. never regrets of knowing him. he's understandable. is my pleasure to have him as my good friend in my life. never know if we can be a better best friend.
wait for my updates. luv all.....

Healing Sunday + RaeZ's Happy Day

what a happy day :)
today is a wonderful day. why? lolx. we having a healing service today and we invited Pastor PN to come over. what a privilege.
is a combine service today. and im on duty for ushering. early morning Ben take the initiative fetch me to church. after have a meeting with my usher team, i went breakfast with YC. had a great time fellowshipping with her. yay!
time for duty! weet! the ushers have a short prayer before duty started. after Peter assign our duties to us, and so we start duty. me and Kar Bee were assigned to distribute bulletins and to welcome them at the 2nd floor. we saw lotsa visitors coming.. and Pastors come from different places' Hope churches.. also there's quite amount of Hope Singapore members joining us.
the church is full of people. we actually have not enough sits for everyone. bulletins not enough too. anyway, the church is pack and crowd.
while busy distributing the bulletins and welcoming, i saw sumone so familiar. when she told us she's from Hope Singapore, i start wondering is she Pastor Jasmine.. what happened is that i went up and ask some members is she Pastor Jasmine but so sad no one knows. thank God, Kar Lock take the initiative to ask her. hahha. fortunately, Pastor Jasmine actually able recognized me as in me and few members visited Hope Singapore and attended youth service in the nov of 2007. im surprised but so happy at the same time. had a short conversation with her.
this reminded me of im actually do still remember all the points that she preached that day.
im so impressed by her preaching that day. and so my life changed again after the service. become happier nowadayz. im so blessed! thank God for the opportunity.
Pastor PN together with Pastor Simon and Pastor Willie, they prayed for the sicks. at that moment i felt the power in our midst. i think we are all toO healthy so there's no critical sickness and no live miracles happen.
praise the Lord! we have 12 new converts today!! the whole heaven and earth rejoice!! hope to see them serve consistently and able to grow stronger spiritual life.
im graduating soon. so all that i hope is that i hope i can do as much as i can for my youth. im not sure will i go to college group or stay back. since we can see some results at the moment, i want it to be continue. that the youth will grow stronger and bigger with quality. i know i can hardly bring my friends to cg or ss since we are all busy with studies. fighting on battles.
hey, is spm man.. no jokes..
in another hand, is kinda weird for me to share with sumone much younger than me like 4 or 5 years younger. can hardly communicate with them though.
so... i will contiue to pray hard. and have faith in Him always.. i will have some breakthroughs.. and amazing things will happen!

hmmm.. im lil drunk now.. the alcoholic =.=" lolx.

Everything Changed

everything happened without anyone knowing it.. without any sign.. without informing..
2008.. toO much things happened on me.. which is out of my expectation..
i've no way know since when i became AJK of F5 in my SPBT club.. i have no way know since when i become the admin of the Canaan's group.. i have no way know we have a crush on each other which we are actually very best friend and best partner.. i have no way know i have sumthing on with some leaders which not so happy.. i have no way know i will go tuition so suddenly and so hardworking.. i have no way know i decided to not online so often.. i have no way know i'll change my ambition and not gonna study law..
getting more mature getting more things to worried of. hafta make lotsa of critical decisions. time to grow.
im i dilemma now.. i made a decision which i never ever thought of i'll make one day. summore it is just so soon. felt hurt and lost. hope everything turn to be so fine after i finish this post. hope im alright.
anyhow, i know im growing up.. and im experiencing it.. it is somehow a very tough moment of being mould..
i just hope everything soon will be fine.. i mean FINE.

Higher Education Exhibition 2008 + 1st Outing of 2008

i went MV with Caryn few days ago. the first outing in 2008. hahha. we actually not going there for shopping. we went there for Higher Education Exhibition 2008.
is a quick decision we made of going there. we planed to go there early. worried there's a crowd.
we had erm.......... breakfast?? hahha. we had some drink around my mom's office before my mom fetching us to Kepong KTM Station.
okie, we taking KTM there. the best way;) so far, this my first time hanging out with Caryn. feeling so great and fun! i was carrying my guitar along for im going to cg straight after that. wow, never know my guitar is actually not that heavy. hahha.
back to the point, exhibition start at 11am and we were there at 10 30am. we walk around and look around. and we bought something(i guess)? i bought 2 guitar picks. and... i forgot what we did there =.="
around 12pm we get into the exhibition hall. we registered and get a copy of newspaper bout some introduction of this edu fair. somehow it's a mini edu fair. not much colleges/universities there.
we both ended spot on this university - LIMKOKWING University. something which out of my expectation. i didn't know actually there's not just study bout multimedia creativity and design. there are also mass comm, sound and music design, business management, hospitality and tourism and so on.
me and Caryn have the same interest in studying mass comm. and we both decided to go over there study. hmm.. though is kinda far from our place, but that's fine. we both can actually stay in the campus there.
more details please log on http://www.limkokwing.co.uk for more informations.
ehehhe...
after all, time for lunch! supposed we decided McD but still had our lunch in Secret Recipe. we treat it as a high tea. a pricey high tea. hmmm... it's okie. is not about the form, but the fellowship. we took quite some photos together. nice picx!
since time rushing me, we had a quick walk and visited The Garden. all branded shops located there. but nice designed building.
anyway, Caryn will stay there untill her sis came over to company her. and i took KTM switched to LRT back to Paramount for cg.
i think i can't have much hanging out with friends sooner. gotta fight on battles. maybe 11months later? im set free then :)
thank God i have such wonderful neighbor+schoolmate and room mate+course mate? hahha. that's even interesting!
i will try to update more if i happen to sit right in front of my computer. see u guys... soon!

New Year Eve's random picxie

hey! here are some pics about our New Year Eve's steamboat cg at Pst. Simon's house. and by then had service in church. though not much photo with me, but that's so memorable and fun! so missing it:)

Raez and Angeline. this may be her last time joining us for school gonna start and she gotta go back to far far away to her campus. hope that she can join us more.


Wen Li and Raez. that's toO much for me to talk about her;) she somehow abit blur sumtimes =.=


Yoke Ching and Raez. ACL and the emo kids. hahha. Canaan's ACL and Canaan's admin.


the emo kids Raez , the killer Angeline , the dead Yoke Ching. i guess we were toO bored by that time.. hehh..


Raez and Shann. mentioned bout her toO many times. hahha. Canaan's admin and Canaan's treasurer. bluek*


yeah! steamboat cg the best! thumbs up thumbs up! yummy~ Happy New year!!!!


Wen Li , Elicia , Raez. welcome Elicia! hope that she can join us more:)


Raez and Derrick. he's much taller now! hmm.. i think Poh Ee jealous-ing..


Raez and Jayz. we both got the different hair style compare to the last photo we taken together. the blackies ;p


Raez and Poh Ee. he's my kind+loving+concerning+lazy+tall+cute+lame bro.. he's younger than me! ehehhe.. but he's toO tall.. u never guess his age. lolx.


Michelle , Raez , Elicia.New year New friends. welcome joining youth! hope to see u guys more ya~


hmm... that's about all. New year New brand start ^_^

stressful 2008

2008! new year brand new start. that can be mean im getting older. lolx. time flies darn fast just an eye blink.
2008 is a very challenging year for me. what's that mean? challenges = pressure+stress.
im 17 a few months later. finally. i gotta face lotsa exams and spm! gotta make lotsa choices on which way im going for my better future. i gonna graduate soon. it may be my last year serving in youth. that's sumthing very sad for me though i feel uncomfortable sumtimes with sumone for what they had done to me.
anyway.
since 1st Jan 2008, i feel very stress and pressure in almost every areas. i felt that everything and everyone going against me. whatever decision i made, there must sumone or sumthing trying to stop me or disagree with me. i feel insecure in all this. and that, i start doubting and getting hot temper and frustrating. i may hurt some peoples but this is not what i desire to do. i just can't control myself. hope im not psychopathy(again =.="). i don't work well under pressure. so if u're reading this and u know it u should know what to do. u know who u are well.. erm.. what im trying to say is that i need some of "me" time i need some spaces for myself. i don't hope anyone comes interrupting it. after all i think(hope) should be better.
im now looking forward to tuition. hope that going through some tuitions able to help me up abit in my studies and that i able to catch up. i gonna pray hard ask God takes away all my laziness so that i will be more hardworking and wisdom to understand what my teacher had taught me. i just hand over everything to Him for Him to lead me through. He has a wonderful plan for me.
i also face some challenges from some leaders. study well and serve well. but leaders, don't ever try to compare me with others. everyone has their limitation. i hope they can be more understandable.
erm.. i dunno how to continue it.. im depressed..
my tears can't stop flowing out from my eyes. whatever i say, is nothing i said. i do try to spare my thoughts with them but it doesn't works. the feedback is that im rebellious.. im throwing emotions.. i should check my spirit. what are they trying to say " i forgive and forget. hope u know u're wrong and do better next time " ahem*

i talk to him just now.. he's actually very understandable most the time. i respect him. i listen to him. but this time he don't get my point. worse thing is that he got the wrong point. i did not mean what he said. anyway, he misunderstood me. i have no words to continue with him. i will do what he asked. but i really hope he'll understand from my side or our side. yeah, will think we are all imperfect sheeps. im not demanding anything from her.. sumtimes not only the sheep is wrong, shepherd can be wrong toO.
hopeless at the moment. that's the different between leader and member. leaders always support leader. members support both side. i just hope everything will goes better. i know ur goods why u are doing all so, but not just focus on it, but care bout others feeling would be even better.
time loosening up abit. i might go insane by then.

oh Lord, i pray that You'll send sumone who can really listen to me and understand me better. im really stress right at the moment and i hope to find a right person to talk to. this is sumthing serious. and Lord i pray that You'll give me a peaceful heart and a clear mind so that i won't think that much. i know im getting insane now. also Lord i wanna pray that my leaders will know me better and care bout how i feel. i find out a difficulty talking to them and spare a thoughts with them. Lord i pray that they able to understand me well and not giving me so much of pressure. Lord, take my pressures away so that i can have a better life to continue study better. Lord, i really need sumone for me to talks to, to release my stress. Lord, gimme a happy heart so im not frustrating anymore. Lord, i know You're listening to me. i need You now Lord. Lord, help me and lead me for i know Your always wonderful. Lord, im waiting for Your answer..

Happy New Year! 2008!

hahha.. Happy New Year!
this evening im having a steamboat new year cg with my youth members in Poh Ee's hse aka Pst. Simon's hse. me, YC, Angeline and Wli went there earlier to help out prepare the foods and all for steamboat later. so... we reach there around 4 30pm.. and our cg start at 7 30pm. we thought we might not able to have enough time to prepare but who know we ended finish preparing at 5 30pm. hmm... that's fast huh? hahha..
since no one reaching yet.. we enjoy watching some hong kong tv series with aunt. Lai Eng.. of course! some girls business.. guess what?? crazy different types of photos!
slowly around 7pm++ we can see them coming.. hahha.. and we have few visitors joinng us!! yeah!! so.. we had a great and wonderful time together.. nice fellowshipping with one another.. a very warmth new year eve's. we were so glad to have Pst. Simon and Pst. Willie with us!
day is getting late and we start helping out doing some cleaning.. and we have to rush back to church for countdown service! woot! this is the time we waiting for!
before the service start.. we actually gathered in a small room for some discussion. our UL - Joe actually is the MC of the night! and he needs some of ours help of doing some distributing some balloons to everyone. is one of the part of our special countdown.
the service started with some high praise. wow. that's really high and im getting even higher. hahha. i jump alot than usual. and a video rewind of 2007. showed some pics of some events we had in 2007. hahha. sweet memorable! and short sharing by Pst. Simon. i actually didn't hear much of it. cause the youth is busy. i mean BUSY. we had meeting in front of toilets. yeah, TOILETS!! bout the distributing thingy and passing poppers to respective leaders. time running out so fast! seriously fast. didn't know is actually already 11pm++. hahha.
oh, that's the climax! everyone so excited starting to write down their wishes and hopes of 2008. and start blowing balloons followed by instructions. yeah, no one know what's going later except the MC.
by then.. everyone holding balloons in the middle of the hall and waving it. so nice! then leaders holding a football coming out from the stage down to the middle of the hall like some football stars. hahha. what they gotta do is to kick the football the the goal(which is a board writing a big 2008). everyone cheering and shouting. anyway, it's a mini football...match??!? but is ain't easy to kick on it. lolx.we requested the song leader to lead us in some songs again to countdown. when everyone getting so high and MC started to count on from 10 according to the international timing. oh yea!!

10..... 9..... 8..... 7..... 6..... 5..... 4..... 3..... 2..... 1..... pop! bang!

some ribbons and papers spread out from the poppers and all flying all around the hall.. bursting the balloons.. hahha.. everyone start to throw ribbons or papers either to one another.. some crazy taking photos like us.. hahha.. anyway, i left earlier than everyone for i gotta go back.
and what? met Mich at the car park and we hooked up in the mood of NEW YEAR. chat till like around 2am(face to face not on the phone, okie..). hahha. and now im ended up here right in front of my computer uploading photos and transferring photo files to my laptop. lolx.
exciting things coming on tmr!

oh, sorry for not replying everyone's messages. toO much! anyway, thanks for u guys' wishes. and Happy New Year! may all of u have a wonderful year ahead. God Bless, all....