what does " HAPPY" means to me?

am i really happy? if i dunno, no one else know. i almost think everyday, am i happy today?? i find out million of reason am happy but eventually that's not work! how sad to have such answer.. am satisfied with everything i had but is only temporary. it can satisfy my physical needs but never spiritual needa though. if u think that' still consider HAPPY.
i know that people out there may think im fine, im happy(that's how my 'happy-maker' comes from), im more open-minded or whatsoever excuses can be. yea, never judge a books with its cover. what you can see from me eventually is not who im supposed to be. there's sumone told me that im actually choleric. erm, im melancholy, sorry. choleric is just the way how i act like. hmm, that's my greatest job that i able to cover without anyone's realizing. hahha.
nowadayz, more and more people seeking for happiness. i tell you what, everyone's influencer and we get influence very easily. if people around u tend to be happy and you are happy but if people around you tend to be sad and you are sad toO. i did survey. lemme ask u, if people around u keep troubling you or hurting you, will u happy? nah, there's a NO right??
this is what the world nowadayz is. you can hardly find sumone which doesn't hurt or trouble you. the percentage that u can get this kinda people is 90%.
i was once happy, but i guess never for present. anyhow i can still show you my very sweet smiling face every day every moment and i can have zillion funs like crazy, but never from the inside out though.
my happiness can only glow in my memories. bygone be bygone. time for me to move on fighting for another battle, suffer for the next second.
ciaoz..